I told her it was fine, even the furniture wasfine but I would like to change the color scheme a little. The neutralshades were fine for a guest bedroom, maybe even for a grown woman, butthis was all new to me and I wanted to put my mark on it. We even wentto one of the home improvement stores to look at paint colors. I endedup selecting a soft lavender shade for the walls and a slightly darkershade for the trim and as an accent.We even went and got some new curtains and bedspread and comforter tobetter go with my new color scheme. Mom insisted on paying foreverything. She said it was her pleasure. She told me every mother looksforward to decorating her little girl's bedroom. Not sure I was a littlegirl at 5'7" and ..., well let us just say there were some of my size10's I was not struggling to get my fat butt into. Still I understoodwhat she was saying. In some ways she was more excited about all of thisthan I was.That night we talked bout the rest of the decor and I was fine with. Henry told me where she was — staying with family on the other side of the reservation. He gave me directions and said he would call and let her know I was coming.As I pulled my truck (fish and game logo and all) up to the house I saw Sara Jane running out. She threw her arms around me and squeezed me tightly."Oh, Tom! I'm so sorry for running out on you like that. I do love you. I love you terribly. I panicked and ran without thinking what it would do to you."I held her, both of us crying now. We went to a picnic table in back of the house and sat down."Tom, you do understand why I can't marry you, don't you?" No, I don't! Look at me. Do you love me? I mean really love me?"Almost a whisper, "Yes, Tom." Okay, then, start planning the wedding!"I guess she could see that she would have to either marry me or shoot me. I wasn't really in doubt as to her choice, but I was relieved when she leaned into me and sighed.It wasn't easy. We had many long talks and met with her doctor several.
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